January 2010
126 posts
(615): I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you’d want to know.
(608): I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Girl #1: My boyfriend is so romantic, he's taking me to a private wine-tasting!
Girl #2: Doesn't that violate your probation?
Watchbook the flying girl!
King Arthur's Court →
Unteachable: I didn’t know I was allowed to sleep with 50 people! Now I feel stupid! I’m owed one!
Michael Bluth: Why are you squeezing me with your body?
Lucille Bluth: It's a hug, Michael. I'm hugging you.
If you have a even remotely good sense of humor,... →
There are only so many ways you can say a show is brilliant and hilarious, so instead of saying how funny Archer is, we’ll just show you. This week? Swapping xanax and oxycontin labels to confuse your servants.
(260): dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian? (1-260): what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
guilty pleasures
Rick Steves’ Europe.
it’s on hulu, so i can watch to my heart’s content. he’s so nerdy and provides sometimes lame advice, especially for young/cheap people. but i can’t look away! watching so much PBS as a kid has done a number on me and my taste in programming.
currently watching: Munich and the foothills of the Alps. i’ve been, so idk why i’m...
(309): My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you’d know what to do?
(661): Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don’t shut up. (1-661): What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was “how”
“No, no, no, Lisa. If adults don’t like their jobs, they don’t go on strike. They...”
– Homer Simpson (via absurdlakefront) (via heyd)
human announcement
i just ate a Rice Dream mint pie. holy cow, delicious.
it’s a non-dairy frozen dessert full of awesome. i’m toying with saying goodbye to dairy, so knowing this is an option is fantastic.
yesterday, i went to the library. to pick up some gossip girl books, don’t judge. i also got the latest Hornby.
anywho, as i was browsing the fiction section (which is odd b/c i’m mainly a non-fitch girl), i passed by a table where a young lad was being tutored in mathematics.
his tutor asked him, “now how would you check this?” and the kid moaned, “i guess i could...
(215): you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could ‘set it free’. (215): we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
*this speaks to me in so many ways. expect i wouldn’t set it free, i would pour mountain dew all over it. that’s the easiest way to kill a robot.
huar!
let's do this. →
best news EVAR →
Jeremy Kyle was my JAM whilst in England. such a hilarious show, i even made my brother dvr it for me while i was traveling so i could watch when i got back to Cambridge.
barometer of love
are there certain ‘things’ that are deal breakers for a potential mate?
i can’t say i’m too picky about things, but measuring the sense of humor is important and can be costly. i think a lot of things are funny. a lot. so it’s not too hard to find common ground with people in that respect, but i’m just saying, we’ll get along smashingly if you think that...
“And then we come to the Wowwwww of the episode. There was a small scene in which...”
– Richard Lawson
Big Love recap
4 tags
Watchviral video film school.
is probably my favorite thing on the internet these days.
(740): The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
(864): Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn’t smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour…It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I’ll have $8 and it’ll look good on my resume.
(904): i’m transferring to degrassi. i don’t care that it’s severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there’s no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Girl, at 9 am: Do you have decaf coffee?
Waitress: I'm sorry, we don't.
Girl: Okay, I'll take a regular.
Waitress: Oh, I'm sorry, we don't serve coffee at all here.
Girl: Okay, I'll take a bud light.
(904): i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don’t tell her, i want her to be surprised
(704): i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Guy: Did you just tell your mom to jam out with her clam out?
Girl: My mom is fuckin awesome, she does keg stands and shit.
(775): You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
(850): The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
this is ridiculous. and hilarious. →
recently procured the Muse discography. i don’t think i’ll ever get into them. sounds like Travis with stronger guitar riffs. although i’ve heard they’re the BEST LIVE BAND EVERRRRR. maybe it was just a commercial hawking tickets to their show that told me that. i do like their creepy controlling alien song though. it’s always on 104.5.
i think the latte from Starbucks had sugar in it. i hate when i ask for SUGAR FREE and end up with a bunch of grams of sugar. i can tell because this tastes way better than normal… although i was starting to enjoy the sugar free.
grrrreat →
